4 Ways to Protect Your Children During a Difficult Divorce

 Posted on March 18, 2025 in Illinois Divorce

Couples divorce for many reasons. There may be financial concerns, infidelity, or the simple realization that both spouses want different things and cannot live happily together. Whatever the cause for the split, the situation can be especially traumatic for children in the home. Fortunately, there are several effective strategies to ensure your children are protected during this challenging time.

At Weiler & Associates, Inc., our Illinois divorce attorneys can assist you if you are going through a divorce and have questions about child custody, visitation, alimony, division of assets, and more. Our firm’s founding partner Rory T. Weiler was named the 2022 Lawyer of the Year for Family Law in Chicago by Best Lawyers.

Never Quarrel Around the Children 

One of the most damaging things children can experience during divorce is watching their parents fight regularly. Children around constant parental arguing and bickering may develop emotional and behavioral issues. Many studies have demonstrated that children who witness their parents fighting are more likely to develop depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and anger issues. Keep disagreements with your spouse away from the children.

Focus on Age-Appropriate Communication 

Early on, you and your partner should explain the divorce in a way the children understand. Avoid finger-pointing or providing more detail than the children need. For instance, for a six-year-old, you might say, "Mom and Dad are going to live separately because that is best for the family, but we love you very much." Reminding young children that the divorce is not their fault is critical. Also, encourage them to ask questions or talk about their feelings.

Maintain Routine 

Illinois courts typically encourage parents to devise a parenting plan that details visitation and custody schedules. Sticking to the parenting plan may give your children a predictable routine that reduces divorce stress. Your routine should keep the children’s school, extracurriculars, and time with friends consistent. Even a tiny thing, such as maintaining a weekly Friday movie night in the family room, can reduce your children’s anxiety. If you and your partner can keep the kids’ schedules consistent, disruption to their lives will be reduced as they grow accustomed to living in two homes.

Give Them Space, But Be Ready to Offer Support

Some children may need time to process a difficult divorce and its implications for their lives. Provide them with time and space to deal with the situation. Some children may do better with a trusted relative or counselor to talk to. Other children may thrive with more creative outlets, like drawing or painting. Some kids may handle the divorce better by engaging in more physical activity and organized sports.

Keep an eye out for signs of struggle with the divorce, such as withdrawal or aggressive behavior. Do not hesitate to consult with a mental health professional if needed. Most importantly, exercise patience. Adjusting to a divorce takes time for everyone.

Contact a Kane County, IL Divorce Lawyer Today 

Divorce can be stressful for children, but the tips outlined above can reduce their anxiety and maintain stability as they adjust to their new normal. At Weiler & Associates, Inc., our St. Charles, IL divorce attorneys help our clients navigate challenging divorces, child custody disputes, alimony issues, and more. Contact us at 630-331-9110 to schedule a legal consultation to review your options.