Three Common Sources of Apprehension Couples Experience When Discussing Prenuptial Agreements

 Posted on December 23, 2019 in Family Law

If you are feeling a heightened sense of anxiety since having the prenuptial agreement talk with soon-to-be spouse, you are not alone. Many engaged couples experience great trepidation when considering the idea of creating a prenuptial agreement. Whether you were the one who had to initiate the discussion because you would like your partner to sign one, or you are the one who was asked to sign, the subject of prenups and hypothetical divorce can be touchy and downright uncomfortable for both parties in a relationship.

The Marriage Business

One of the most obvious reasons the concept of a prenuptial agreement is so uncomfortable for some is that the idea seems to imply by signing one, you are essentially planning to divorce before you are even married. The mere mention of a prenup can be offensive to a person, making the conversation about whether or not to sign very difficult. It is natural to feel as if you need to tread carefully with the discussion. However, every couple, regardless of circumstance or which stance they take on the subject, can benefit from reminding themselves what psychology experts reiterate for us all: Marriage is a business relationship, whether we like it or not.

Here are three reasons engaged couples experience serious apprehension over the idea of signing a prenuptial agreement:

• Marriage is a contract - A marriage partnership, by law, is a type of business relationship. The moment you enter into a legal marriage, you are signing a contract, which experts explain is in a sense agreeing to your state’s default version of a prenuptial agreement. As a newlywed, you are already sharing more than just your love with your spouse, but also your space, your family and friends, and in essence, your entire life. Creating and signing a prenuptial agreement on top of all this can be extremely overwhelming and leave you feeling as if you are dooming the relationship from the very beginning. Either way, however, you are entering into a legal agreement with your spouse whether or not you have added a prenuptial contract to the union.
• It kills the romance - Many couples are disenchanted by the idea of a prenup, as they feel it kills the romantic element of a new marriage. Undoubtedly, having to look at the business facet of a marriage is far from romantic, and is instead practical and pragmatic. The reality, though, is that marriage is more than love and romance. It is a life-long partnership that requires two people to join two existing financial structures and to make it one. Depending on how much you value your financial structure before moving into a marriage, the desire to protect that foundation might not only be wise, but a practical necessity. Some experts assert that communicating these needs and concerns with your soon-to-be spouse can actually improve the trust and strengthen the bond in your relationship.
• It exposes a side of your partner you may not know existed - Another common reason prenuptial agreements cause our anxiety to spike is that considering one means seeing a side of our partner that we maybe did not know existed. Some couples fear that they will look differently at their partner after agreeing to sign a prenup or hearing their views on financial matters. While this may be a possibility, communicating about money and assets and your partner’s mindset about finances from the get-go can turn out to be incredibly valuable in the long run. As the old adage rings true, “If I only knew then what I know now,” signing a prenuptial agreement allows you to know now.

Contact a St. Charles Premarital Agreement Lawyer 

If you are considering a prenuptial agreement with your partner, it is crucial to have a competent, experienced Kane County family lawyer by your side as you navigate the legalities of the contract creation. Call Weiler & Associates, Inc. at 630-331-9110 today and schedule your personal consultation.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/bringing-compassion-matrimonial-law/201810/the-unexpected-upside-getting-prenup

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/201305/the-bad-business-marriage