What Is “Nesting” and Is It the Right Decision in My Illinois Divorce?

 Posted on June 24, 2020 in Illinois Divorce

If you are a parent considering divorce, you probably have a million questions swirling through your head. Who will be the primary caregiver of my children? How often will I see them? Where will my kids live and how long will they be at each house? Imagining carting your children between two homes can seem unfair and difficult, especially for kids who are old enough to have homework, after-school activities, and friends to see on the weekends. It can feel as if their lives are always in transition between one home and another. A recent phenomenon has caught the attention of divorcing parents who might be concerned about this two-home lifestyle for their children. Before making decisions about what will happen to the family home and how your children’s time will be divided between you and your ex-spouse, learn about a new option many families are considering: Nesting.

One Home Sweet Home

What most families will do once their divorce is finalized is have one parent remain in the family home as the primary caregiver while the other finds an apartment or alternative living space where the children can visit based on their parenting plan. The two separate living spaces can be beneficial for former spouses, but it can be difficult for kids to live between two homes. Nesting is a modern alternative that many co-parents have begun to consider in the weeks or months following their divorce. Rather than having the children come to the parents, the parents come to the children. One parent will keep the family home and the kids will continue to live there full-time and each parent will stay at the house when it is his or her scheduled time with the children.

It may seem financially irresponsible to maintain the family home and have a separate apartment or living space for your “off-time” as a parent. In order to keep things more affordable, some divorced couples will share the costs of an apartment and the family home and each will spend his or her off nights in the apartment while the other spends his or her scheduled parenting time in the family home. This arrangement can be outlined in the parenting plan in order to avoid confusion on financial responsibilities and to create boundaries for the former spouses as they continue to share living spaces after their divorce.

While it may seem fairly easy on paper, nesting is not an arrangement suited for every family. In some cases, this arrangement can act as a roadblock, essentially keeping you from moving on from your past life with your former spouse. This can be true on an emotional level as well as a physical level. It may be difficult to entertain the thought of seeing someone else while living in an apartment that you “share” with your ex. In order to avoid these difficulties, most parents who consider this arrangement will only do so for a few weeks or months after the divorce. This transition period can be the most difficult for children and nesting can act as a way to ease them into their new living situation. Once you believe that your children have become accustomed to this new arrangement, parents can adjust their parenting plan, known as post-divorce modification, to reflect this new lifestyle.

Call a St. Charles Divorce Attorney

Parents who are going through their first divorce are likely unaware of the parenting plan options available to them. The status quo may consist of two homes and children moving between them, but the truth is that there are a number of arrangements that parents can consider. It is important to know all of your options before selecting which one works best for you and your family. The skilled legal team at Weiler & Associates, Inc. has helped Illinois families with their divorce agreements for over a decade. Our family lawyers are well-equipped to help you decide what you want your future to look like with your kids. If you are a parent considering divorce, contact our qualified Kane County child custody lawyers at 630-331-9110 for exceptional legal guidance.

Sources:

https://theplumonline.com/relationships/birdnesting-pros-and-cons

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/contemplating-divorce/201902/are-you-getting-divorce-and-thinking-about-nesting